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September 7, 2012 / galatianssixnine

2012 NFL Regular Season Predictions

I’m a little late with this one, having already passed the first game of the season (where Romo and Murray made my fantasy teams proud), but this post has been in the works for the last week, and I am not changing any picks based on one game (though, perhaps I should).

In this blog I will predict the final standings in each division.

The usual disclaimer: I do this every year. This is the third year I’ve made it public. My goal is to be 50% and I never reach it. Last year I did fairly well though. Feel free to give your predictions…

Tastes like winning. Also pollution.

AFC North

Ravens
Steelers
Bengals
Browns

The Ravens stand out as the better team overall to me. Flacco will be Flacco, but their defense and Ray Rice will put them over the top. The Steelers will always contend, but their defense is getting older and isn’t as strong as Balty’s, IMO. Until the Bengals prove otherwise, this is still a two-team race for the top spot. Was last year a fluke for Cincy, or will this be their coming out party? While I have all the faith in the world in AJ Green, Dalton still needs to avoid a sophomore slump, and they’re still the Bungles.  Then there’s the poor Browns…

AFC South

I HAZ WEPONZ LOLOL

Texans
Jaguars
Titans
Colts

It’s hard to pick against the Texans this year, especially when they coasted into the playoffs even after losing their first AND second string QBs. Yeah, they lost Mario Williams to Free Agency, but this team is way too talented and is in a seemingly uncompetitive division. The Jags could surprise a LOT of people this year. That all hinges on Blaine Gabbert’s ability to stay in the pocket and make his new weapon Justin Blackmon a star. Mike Mularkey is actually what this team needed…he’s a very run-oriented guy, and that’s what the Jaguars do best. Of course, Jones-Drew held out until the last possible second, and could lose a step a-la Chris Johnson last year. But Gabbert has no excuse this year to suck. I think he actually is set up to succeed and step up this year.  The Titans also have an unproven young QB in Jake Locker. Chris Johnson WILL be much better this year and bounce back.  They could also surprise some folks.

The Colts, while they have the next Peyton Manning, still are without Peyton Manning. Expect Luck to have flashes of greatness and do very well. Unfortunately, the other 10 guys on offense have to be just as good. Manning had a knack for making those around him better…can Luck do the same?  Maybe not this year. Their defense may cost them a few games.

God help us all.

AFC East

Patriots
Jets
Dolphins
Bills

The Patriots are the class of the East, and this year is no different. While New York is playing “As the Sucky QB Turns,” Belichick and Co. are quietly going about their business. And their business is winning. Brady is a year older, but he still is Tom freaking Brady. The Jets have the potential to absolutely implode. Yet in spite of all their drama, they have always found a way to not be awful. Plus, all Tebow does is win…right??  The Dolphins and putting all their eggs in Tannehill’s basket. Perhaps it’s because his wife is smokin’ hot. He must have something, right? He actually looks decent…yet this team just has way too many holes.

The Bills surprised all of us last year in the first few weeks of the season, then realized they’re the Bills. They slightly improved their D by giving a gajillion dollars to Mario Williams, and Fred Jackson played lights-out before he got injured.  I actually almost predicted them to finish second…then I remembered that last year I meant what I said- “As long as Chan Gailey is the head coach of the Bills, I will predict them to finish last.”

It’s ok guys. I took care of him.

AFC West

Broncos
Raiders
Cheifs
Chargers

This one was tough. This also may be the one people disagree with the most. I don’t blame you. But how can the Broncos NOT finish first now that they have Manning? I mean, they made the playoffs with TIM TEBOW last year. When you upgrade the most important position on your team, you have to be the favorite. As I said before, Manning makes his teammates better. While he seemed to have lost a step 2 years ago, expect him to lead this team to its second straight division crown.

The Raiders actually seem to be pretty good. Carson Palmer now has a full off-season under his belt as their QB, and McFadden is back. The question is, can either of them stay healthy the whole season? The Chiefs are all over the place. They’re a very unpredictable team, but Charles will be back, and they now have Peyton Hillis to offset him. If Cassel can stay afloat, so will Kansas City.  The Chargers lost their number one wideout. Ryan Mathews can’t stay healthy, and even when he is healthy, he hasn’t shown much. He needs this year to prove that he is worthy of starting. Oh also Norv Turner is a terrible head coach. I think this may be the year he gets the can.

I mustache you to be serious.

NFC North

Packers
Bears
Lions
Vikings

To be the man, you gotta beat the man. A lot of people are all about the Bears this season, and for good reason. I think they really can leap-frog the Packers.  This will be a very tight race once again, but I’m going to have to give the edge to the Packers, based on gut. I trust Rodgers more than I trust Cutler.  Simple as that.  The Lions are victims of their own division, yet should still contend for a wild card spot. This division may have two wild cards when it’s all said and done. Hopefully (for my fantasy teams’ sake) Megatron doesn’t succumb to the Madden Curse, and Stafford stays upright. The Vikings are still trying to figure things out. With Christian Ponder at the helm, and AP injured, they may be in for another rough year.

NFC South

See: https://galatianssixnine.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/nfc-south-predictions/

They call me…”Mr. Glass.”

NFC East

Giants
Cowboys
Redskins
Eagles

Every year it seems I hate on the Giants…and every year they prove me wrong. I have learned from my mistakes. In spite of the fact that I really want to put the Cowboys at #1, the Giants are still the team to beat.  Even if they have a rough start, they have proven over and over again that they can win when it counts. The ‘Boys look very good. They’re healthy, they’re hungry, they have a new glasses-wiper for Jerry Jones…everything may finally fall into place for them. The Redskins are finally getting better. I love RG III. I really do think he will be special in this league, and may end up being Rookie of the Year. Still, they need some more help across the board on both offense and defense. They’ll be exciting to watch, but They may break some hearts.

Then there’s the Iggles. Michael Vick can’t even stay healthy in the preseason. Sure, he now has a new flak jacket, guaranteed to stop a rocket and possibly provide healing powers, but what about the rest of his body, particularly his legs?  I was right about him last year, and I’m saying it again- defenses have the tape on this man. He is unable to adjust. He’ll make splash plays, but not enough to get his team on top of this division.

We brought Alex Smith back? Are you f***ing kidding me?

NFC West

49ers
Seahawks
Rams
Cardinals

What a crappy division this has been, year in and year out. Of course I’m picking the 9ers to win. Their defense is ridiculous. As long as Alex Smith doesn’t take a dump on the field they should run away with this one. There’s no excuse for him either. For the first time he is returning with the same offense…one that he succeeded greatly in last year. Hopefully Harbaugh doesn’t break him, and minds his manners.

Pete Carroll is likely smoking something. Yet in spite of himself, he may actually succeed this year. First he trades a second round pick for CHARLIE WHITEHURST, and then this past offseason he and his front office give a huge contract to Matt Flynn based on a couple of games…only to give the starting QB job to an unproven rookie.  Yet this rookie is someone I am very high on.  Russell Wilson out of Wisconsin is actually a very good QB, and will be turning some heads this year. In a crappy division, I expect them to get some garbage wins and do pretty decent.  The Rams are up and down and have so many things to prove. They COULD finish second. It’s all up to QB Sam Bradford and OC Brian Schottenheimer.

Oh…and the Cardinals suck. John Skelton? Really??

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