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January 9, 2012 / galatianssixnine

Rebuild

I made a decision back in August.  One that has been questioned by those close to me, and especially questioned by myself at times. I touched on it in the last post, but it has many layers to it other than “I decided not to date for a year.”

That is the short way of saying it.  It’s more like “I decided not to date for a year because my focus needs to be on growing myself, and making sure I am dedicated to God first and foremost.”

It’s so hard to explain that to people.  It sounds like a Christian cliché.  In the Christian world, saying that is hailed by many as an excuse for being single, or an excuse to not pursue someone.  That’s when I have to hope that people understand and believe me when I say that this was not my decision.

It has been four and a half months, and I went through ups and downs.  I doubted a lot…then I was hard on myself after not seeing any personal progression.  I still have bad habits I’m trying to shake.  I still am not as close with God as I think I should be to this point. The process just wasn’t going as quickly as I thought it would.

I constantly had to remind myself that this is not for me, it is for Him.

I very recently just went through a spell of frustration with myself, and then today God really spoke to me.  Andy Stanley’s sermon at church was exactly about what God has been telling me to do this year- (among other things) finishing what you start…achieving your personal goals, because you know that God has set you out to do them. If you don’t, it hinders your relationship with Him.

I set this year aside for Him…I need to do what I know He is telling me to do, even though none of those things are quote-unquote spiritual.

Then it came to me…I’m finally seeing God working in my life and it was under my nose!  It is incredible how much He has blessed me since I made my commitment.  I do see the growth that I have gone through now.  And I finally just got the motivation to tackle the remaining 8 months.

Andy pointed out Nehemiah.  Nehemiah was given a task to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  He knew it was God-inspired.  It wasn’t a “spiritual” task by any means…building the wall seemingly was pointless.  But he knew he had to do it.

3 so I sent messengers to them with this reply: “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?” Nehemiah 6:3

It was during that sermon that I realized what has been going on:

The first four months was for my REVIVAL.

My next stage is for my REBUILDING.

I know the things I need to do before these 8 months are up. I will set out to do them, because I know He wants me to.  It won’t be easy.  It involves changing habits.  It involves sacrificing fun for work.

But I know that God will be there with me, the whole way…rebuilding the fallen walls of my life.

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