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November 13, 2011 / galatianssixnine

Ch-ch-changes

Slowly but surely, I am growing up.

One of my best friends, whom I haven’t seen in a year because he has been fighting in Afghanistan, told me something yesterday that hit me.  He said I have changed.

He’s currently on a much needed leave visiting family, so my roommate and I drove to Jacksonville to see him.  This man has been across the world, going through and seeing unthinkable things, growing every single day physically and mentally.

And he told me that I have grown.

He said he could tell in the way I speak and the way I carry myself that I have grown exponentially.

This threw me back a bit, because that has been my main goal recently.  I have set out to grow as much as possible.  After graduating college (finally) and starting to actually get on my feet as a working adult, I realized that my focus needs to be solely on “growing up.”  I’m trying to get my finances in order, I’m trying to eat and live healthier, I’m trying to get rid of old college habits.

I even made the commitment to not date for a year as I work on myself, as well as my relationship with God.

However, I recently have been struggling inwardly.  It’s been three months into my yearlong commitment, and I feel like I haven’t been doing a good job.  I feel like I haven’t grown at all.

So it meant a lot to hear Chris tell me that he could see it.  He may not have seen me in a year, but he knows me better than most.  After living with him for three years out of the 10+ that I’ve known him, I know that when he says something like this, he absolutely means it.

I may not have made much headway, in my mind.  I may still not run when I should, I may still skip out on my quiet time, I may still spend money that I shouldn’t…but I still have the drive to change.  There’s a reason why I decided to take a year…if everything was solved and I met my goal in three months, then I didn’t set enough goals.

I need to take baby steps.  I need to not get discouraged that things don’t change overnight.  I need to remember it’s a journey, not a race.

Those who know and love me most can see the change already…and that means the world to me.  There’s still a big hill to climb, but for the first time, I can see that the climb is worth it.

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