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August 4, 2011 / galatianssixnine

Selfless Love

Note: The following is a Facebook note that I wrote over a year ago for Valentines Day

I think something that has been pressing my heart recently is the idea of unconditional love. We live in such a selfish world that loving someone has become all about the individual and our own desires, and not about sacrifice and lifting up the other person.

I’ve viewed many relationships from afar, internally analyzing the success (or lack thereof) of my friends and their love lives. Without question, the number one cause of success in my personal “study” on relationships is UNSELFISHNESS.

So many times I’ve seen relationships either fall apart or unhealthily struggle to stay alive, simply because of the rabid selfishness of both parties. A lot of times I’ve seen two people who are just terrible for each other, but they stay together for fear of being alone. They stay together because it’s just easier that way. No one gets their heart broken, and no one is alone…they can continue to fool around just for the sake of it, because it feels good to be wanted and to have someone.

I can’t tell you enough how unhealthy this is.

It’s selfish. They stay together because they temporarily quench their emotional desires, but in the overall picture they become miserable…all because they refuse to be alone. I have no doubt they care about each other deeply, but there comes a point in a relationship such as this when it isn’t enough.

When you care about yourself more than the other person, something is wrong there.

I’ve seen relationships fall to pieces because at least one party has so much baggage, that it begins to bring the other person down.

When your personal problems become their problems, something is wrong there.

So tomorrow on Valentine’s Day, I want everyone who is in a relationship to take this day to make it all about the other person. Go out of your way to forget yourself. Forget your past, forget your problems…forget YOUR desires.

Try it out. Do what THEY want. Do what makes THEM happy.

This is the way to live everyday…whether you’re in a relationship or not. How do I know? Because it’s how I’ve always tried to live my life.

(I stress the word tried)

We’re all selfish people. It’s in our nature to look out for number 1. There are guys, specifically in college, that view it all as a game. They see it as just a fun thing to do to get desires and lusts out of the way, though it’s all temporary. I’m sure there are girls who feel the same way.

Don’t see any part of life as a “game.” It’s full of real people, with real feelings. I guarantee you that life is more fulfilling when you live it unselfishly, building up others…ESPECIALLY your significant other.

Nice guys finish last? I hope so. If you’re constantly finishing first, you’re not a “nice guy.”

I’ll take my last place finish, thank you…as long as it means that the ones I love feel like they’re the winners.

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